Saturday 11 July 2009

Building a Scaffold

The date of King Richard's execution has been set for 12th September, and the Commonwealth of Hay are starting to get organised. One of the first things the Lord Protector has done is to write to the Brecon Beacons National Park with a grant application - to build a scaffold on which to execute our deposed monarch.
His reasons are very logical - the execution will contribute to the body of myth that already surrounds Hay as an independant Kingdom, and will therefore be good for the sort of tourism we want to encourage. There's no point in doing the same things as other little towns - Hay has always been a bit different, and that's part of the charm, and it would be disastrous to try to move away from our core activity, which is selling second hand books, to promote other areas of tourist interest.
Paul puts it this way:
"Therefore we seek reassurances from the BBNPA that the constitutional and commercial history of our town is more important than any other single tourism 'driver' that other local or wider bodies might imagine, and perhaps an agreement from the BBNPA that to depart from our traditional profile towards a more momentary kind of 'fame', with an attendant drift towards the 'sameness' of general lifestyle tourism, cannot ultimately be beneficial.

Following his trial, the King of Hay - slightly overtaken by events - has argued personally with us that his appearance at his trial was made only following a promise that we give him further international recognition. Although such an undertaking was never made by us, we wouldn't wish the passing of an era to go completely unrecognised during these inevitable institutional changes in Hay, nor can we ignore entirely the responsibilities of the new order. Fortunately, the wishes of the King and the needs of the Commonwealth appear to coincide quite happily on this occasion. The Commonwealth thinks it is in the interests of Hay that the BBNPA associates itself with the most important ideas of our past, while helping to ensure the continuity of our history remains unbroken, before, during and after it is made....

...We are confident you will appreciate that to allow a gradual demise of royalty in Hay is not concomitant with a prosperous future for the new Citizens of Hay, and that we cannot allow the outside world's understanding of our 'sense of place' to be impeded at any cost."

We haven't had an answer yet....

8 comments:

A Loyal Subject said...

Boo, down with you despicable traitors and long live Richard, King of Hay and here's to all monarchies everywhere. Tell them to construct half a dozen gibbets so that they can string the lot of you up!

Anonymous said...

All well and good, but what is going to replace King Richard? There ought to be an alternative, with an equally high profile - or at least the potential to generate one - ready to step into the Royal Vacuum.

Eigon said...

That's exactly what the Commonwealth is all about. No-one can fill King Richard's shoes exactly, but even he hasn't been able to generate the sort of publicity for Hay that he used to do, and Hay needs someone to step into that gap before there really is a Royal Vacuum (Richard is 70, after all).

Jill said...

What "sort of tourist" does the Commonwealth want to attract?

Long Live King Richard!

A Loyal Subject said...

. . . and Elizabeth, Queen of England, is 83. Hay's profile is still way up there thanks to the Festival, amongst a dozen other things. Yes, we should keep the banner flying for Hay but cutting off the King's head is not the way to go about it – and an occasional mention in Private Eye is not exactly publicity.

Eigon said...

What sort of tourist does the Commonwealth want to attract?
The sort that buys books, and appreciates the eccentricity that is Hay.

First Minister in the Council of State, the Commonwealth of Hay said...

The last thirty years in Hay have been characterised heavily in the international media as the history of an independent nation state. The King cannot possibly continue forever, whatever his few supporters might believe. A 10-day Sky-celebrity festival and an assortment of attractions available in hundreds of other places outside Hay do nothing substantial in themselves to maintain the year-round commercial appeal or philosophical integrity of the world's first book town. These are points upon which the First Minister and the King are in precise agreement - and we always have been. The King now needs to give his supporters a lesson in the art of maintaining a globally-recognised second-hand economy, and then they need to be reminded that it's better to be a valued citizen than it is to be a forgotten subject. The king's rather tepid stand as a member of the Socialist Labour Party appears to have withered any pretence at the idea of kingship in Hay. Long live the Commonwealth!

Anonymous said...

Doesn't Richard Booth sum that all up?